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Category Archives: Traffic hazards

wheelmenSan Francisco Chronicle, August 15, 1894. This reads like a car-versus-bike story but isn’t, the date being 1894. I’m assuming Otto Schrumm was driving a horse-drawn vehicle of some description.

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bicycle murderNew York Times, Ferbruary 2, 1897. New technologies beget new forms of vice and crime.

bike pathsSan Francisco Chronicle, June 20, 1897. I know all you two-wheeled activists out there are going to go bananas over this one. Y’all can pay me back with a free bike tune-up sometime.

cowChicago Tribune, September 26, 1859. I’m dying to find out more about this obscene handbill issue. References to “quacks and harpies” and “public morals” make me wonder if we’re not talking about the advertisement of abortion services. As for the “cow nuisance,” it’s regrettable that the locavores of the day didn’t hold their ground against these busybody reformers. Read More »

bi-curiousAChicago Tribune, May 16, 1899. Forget about the Nineteenth Amendment or Roe v. Wade: this is where the trouble really started.

vampautoAstatsAAChicago Tribune, April 22, 1922. So: one out of 19 Chicago drivers is a vampire. I find this statistic wholly credible, even today. Read More »

Crush June 9 1927AChicago Tribune, June 9,1927.
Item One: Kids can be so cruel.
Item Two: Like I was saying about the early incompatibility of bipeds and drivers.

killed byAChicago Tribune, March 22, 1921. Another response to the death toll exacted by so-called vampire autos. We will run some horrifying fatality stats soon.

Though I have to say, Chicagoans strike me even now as the shittiest, lamest, most bloody-minded drivers of the Western World, and I speak here as someone who has lived and driven in both Quebec and New Jersey.

Practically nobody in Chicago uses their fucking turn signals, and if and when you do signal a lane change, it merely stimulates the motherfucker in your side view mirror to pull up and block you out. Satellite-based vaporization of aggressive drivers would be a totally wholesome advance in policy.

vampire autoistAChicago Tribune, October 16, 1921. The democratization of the automobile in the late Teens and Twenties was not without its social costs. Neighborhood pedestrians conditioned to horse-drawn traffic were slow to adapt to the new speed of life; drivers didn’t know what the fuck they were doing. The consequent death toll gave rise to the journalistic concept of the “vampire auto,” which basically meant a hit-and-run car.

Perfect Drunk March 16, 1931Detroit News, March 16, 1931. I wonder what model of car he was driving.