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Everything you know is wrong

Avon Paperback Original, 1956. Liberace, for the benefit of you young ‘uns, was a superstar pop pianist. And boy, was he ever heterosexual! Lana Turner, Sonja Henie, Shelly Winters, Mamie Van Doren, Judy Garland, and countless starlets whose names are long forgotten . . . It sez right here, he just knocked ’em down like bowling pins.

10 Comments

  1. Oh that picture is just perfect. He looks like he’s trying to get validation that he’s doing it right from someone not in the picture; and she looks completely positive that he is not straight. Perfect!

  2. Judy Garland? No no no, Liberace was only a friend of Dorothy.

  3. If you happen to visit the Liberace Museum (in the next three weeks or so before it closes – http://www.liberace.org) the little old ladies who run the place will insist that he was ‘quite the ladies man’ with a completely straight face. Worth the visit…

    • That’s awesome.

    • They probably honestly believe it. When I was younger, I had a very emotionally close relationship with a gay male friend. Most people (including my mother, who asked me whether he was gay before I knew myself) assumed we were boyfriend and girlfriend. In a way, we sort of were: we spent hours together every day, and went on “dates” (by which I mean going to the same place at the same time in each other’s company). The only thing that made us different from a heterosexual couple was that we didn’t share any physical affection.

  4. That’s actually a photo of his evil twin brother George, shortly before Batman apprehended him. Then Batman changed his clothes so that Bruce Wayne could also pretend to enjoy barely kissing a woman.

    TO CONTINUE SLASHFIC INSERT FIVE DOLLARS

    • How’s my credit? I’m skinned until the end of the month.

        • Kibo
        • Posted September 29, 2010 at 6:34 pm
        • Permalink

        While Bruce Wayne was sort of kissing the lovely Vera Kilometers while they were tending Bruce’s apiary (she was wearing a beekeeper’s outfit that showed off her magnificent legs), Robin was busy escorting George to Gotham State Penitentiary.

        “Hey, look, Robin,” said the manly George, “There’s a piano store! Before you put me away, please let me play one last arpeggio.”

        “Well, sure, okay, I guess, gosh,” whined Robin, releasing George. But George had tricked him, and instead ran into the Manly Man store next door! It sold only cans of Manwich, and Hungry-Man Dinners, and… flamethrowers!

        “Holy hotness!” yelled Robin. “I better call Batman to come deal with this Manlyman!” He pulled his bulky Bat-Transistor-Field-Phone out from his green panty. “Robin calling Batman! Robin calling Batman! We have an utterly urgent emergency emerging!”

        But on the other end of the line, all Robin could hear was a sort of… giggling. It was as if Bruce Wayne were making out with a woman… correctly! “OH NO!” screamed Robin. “BRUCE, STOP THAT!”

        TO CONTINUE SLASHFIC BUY ME A FLAMETHROWER

  5. Hi Jackie of Finland! Where you been keeping yourself?

    • I was offline for a while when work blocked access to a lot of sites. Now they’re blocking fewer sites, and I can read the blog again.


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