Two funerals and no wedding

New York Times, May 20, 1908. I don’t recall Yahweh signaling His opposition to May-December matches in Scripture, but in this instance He ostensibly sided with George Sterry Jr. against Sterry Sr.’s desire to take a second, younger bride.

Millionaire wholesale drug merchant, hey? In this context, that surely would have entailed moving opiates and cocaine in serious weight, but that was all respectable trade at the time.
So: Junior has been given a personal waiver on at least two Commandments.
Let’s read along, shall we?
So far this feels a little more lighthearted than your average prophetically-inspired suicide note. Could Junior be taking about the piss about the God-told-me-to stuff?
His perving-on-tomorrow’s-headlines shtick likewise seems a bit less than prophetic. Guy sure seems to have had it in for his prospective step-mom too. Dunno what he’s talking about vis a vis grammar and spelling, though I suppose an editor might have helped clean this up a bit.
Good work, George Sterry Jr.: You’ve averted scandal and preserved the family name from obloquy. And joining your dad in the afterlife as his guide and protector puts the cherry on top. The image of gliding up side streets in the hereafter is sweet too.