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Monthly Archives: January 2010

Chicago Defender, February 10, 1917. Read more.

Salt Lake Telegram, June 14, 1902. Getting tied to the tracks was not generally a posh pastime, but on occasion it did happen to the quality too.

Chicago Tribune, September 15, 1897. Veteran Hope Chest readers will surely recall the notorious Bender Family of Kansas, whose frontier depredations set the contemporary bar for homicidal family enterprise. This here Staffleback crew strikes me as small potatoes in comparison–murder seems to have been less their “trade” than a sideline–but their operation was not without a certain Gothic panache. Abandoned mine shafts are always good value. Read More »

National Gazette and Literary Register, August 4, 1825. Yeah, he sounds pretty genteel and agreeable in manners.

New Hampshire Sentinel, January 27, 1827. Gee, I wonder what their problem was?

Philadelphia Inquirer, January 1, 1913. Some of these deaths leave me wondering if we’re not looking at a disguised suicide. Read More »

Chicago Tribune, October 9, 1920. Nativist fretting over the “Yellow Peril” was sky-high in the Roaring Twenties, and four years after Helen here spoke her ethnocentric mind, Congress passed the Asian Exclusion Act as part of the comprehensive new Immigration Act of 1924. The borders were reopened to Asians again in 1965.
Read more.

Two items of apocalyptic import in this week’s Chicago Reader, here and here.

Okay, so I’ve roughed out a provisional draft of alternate lyrics to “My Favorite Things” for our own Jackie of Finland to record, per our contractually-binding exchange in this comment thread. I’m also in negotiations to get the two surviving Seidlitz Brothers to dub some backing vocals, though according to their agent, Shlomo’s voice box is pretty much shot from three packs of Chesterfields a day since the McKinley administration. No matter: that’s why God made Pro Tools and the electrolarynx.

I’m kind of going back and forth on the first verse here, as it lacks the 100% concrete historicity that the other verses have. Though maybe I could fix that by nailing down concrete references to back it all up.

Barrel-clad hobos and window-ledge pastries
Irish patrolman and drunks with the DTs
Blackguards and maidens and oncoming trains
These are a few of my favorite thangs

Phials of acid in ex-lovers’ faces
Naked wild women in desolate places
Negroes with blue gums who kill when they bite
This is a load of my favorite shite

Mince pies for breakfast, and luncheon, and dinner
Corpses injected to make their eyes glimmer
Med school students defiling the dead
This sort of thing tends to fuck with my head

Cuckqueaned wives killing spinster cult leaders
Cats sold as rabbits to unwitting eaters
Show-offs igniting their cee-gars with bills
These are symptoms of society’s ills

When the dog brings
Dynamite back

When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I feel truly bad

Jackie: Far be it from me to impinge on your creative process, but I was thinking this would work best Lento assai and in a minor key.

The statistical display of this blogging platform yields helpful data under the rubric “Search Engine Terms: These are terms people used to find your blog.” I like to consult these whenever I feel doubtful that I’m truly performing the Lord’s work here. The following are some of my favorites from the past 3 weeks. The list includes positive indicators for any randy spinsters out there.

strange pictures of women


whack a cat

harry dean stanton

headless people

pittsburgh occult

incest cartoons

giantess ass

corporal punishment of women

mince pies+giant stores

mince pies girls

funny lynching


spinster sex (x 5)

sexual needs of spinsters

how to do sex with a spinster

spinsters who want sex

‘liver’ and ‘art’

christmas vampire

vampires kill adultery

snake oil hypnotic

sharp trousers

stainless steel didos

d.a.r.e say no to the drugs

revolution for rabbits

2009 detroit hookers

“i can has your soul?”

“corporal punishment” knickers

killer with a god

blemmyes (x 2)

hully gee


“florence tabor critchlow”