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Monthly Archives: October 2009

catsNew York Daily Tribune, July 27, 1859. Love that “did not discover themselves to her for some time.” Filthy perving Orangemen. Anyway, the habitat of the Wild Woman extended north to Canada, and cats were a part of her diet. I wonder how she felt about mince pie.

halfAtlanta Constitution, October 13, 1886. Turns out these rural wild-woman items were perennial and ubiquitous in the late 19th century, when monster-gals apparently lurked behind every other corncrib. I now have more of these stories than I ever could ever hope to use in this lifetime (and that’s even if we do all survive the Mayan apocalypse in 2012). I cannot use them all because they mostly describe the very same feral gal: naked, prodigiously athletic, indiscriminately carnivorous and terrifying to the local menfolk.

Ebony & Ivory San Jose Mercury Evening News, November 30, 1887. Here’s the “tragic mulatto” principle taken to extremes by cruel Nature. Or then again, maybe circus life would have offered more to this kid than whatever hardscrabble misery awaited him in post-Redemption Florida. If only we had a name other than “it” for the child in question, I might be able to find out what happened to him. Read More »

Spoon RiverDaily Austin Republican, November 25, 1858. There must be an archaic technical term or two for this marvelous effect, whereby a pregnant woman who is traumatized by X gives birth to Y. Anybody out there know the jargon? Meanwhile, you’re doubtless wondering how this kid managed to get along without a head. Well, it’s really quite simple. . . Read More »

noselessTrenton Times, April 25, 1903. “Varied emotions”? Exactly how broad was the range of responses here?

Nostalgia: “Ah, that takes me back to my own noseless child-stalking days. Good times.”
Arousal: “A noseless, short-haired, child-hunting dwarf chick? I wonder if she’s seeing anyone.”
Complacency: “Why should I care? My kids are grown and I’ve got a nose.”
Indignation: “These modern women and their ridiculous hairstyles!”
Idle curiosity: “I wonder if she’s a good jumper?”

11 3 82 Cinn Gazette wildingCincinnati Daily Gazette, December 3, 1882. “Demoralized”–I love it. It’s like: “She presented such a wild look in the half light, and asked for food in such a wild fashion, that Roberts was bummed out.” But let’s read on. Read More »

half humanTrenton Times, September 23, 1885. The hippophage’s dilemma: is this kosher?

wild childTrenton Times, September 23, 1885. Used to be the woods and plains were thick with these half-Tarzan, half-Kasper Hauser types. Though the ability to clear a 7-foot stump in a single bound surely puts this young woman near the top of her class. Read More »

horse Daily Alaska Dispatch, August 4, 1900. By “patties” the author here means pâtés, as the next paragraph will show. It’s inferable that he is unaware that French people had been in the regular habit of eating horseflesh since the Revolution (when it was both a good source of protein and an anti-aristocratic gesture). Read More »

electric Baltimore Sun, December 10, 1889. Before the vampire auto, there was vampire electricity. Read More »