Oh yah?

Baltimore Sun, July 4, 1892. Lately I’m finding running across a lot of wild women whose exile from civilization is attributed to a past episode of seduction and heartbreak. But I’m half inclined to believe that these gals are actually Jungian archetypes on the hoof, especially since, like this one, they almost always reside in caves. And sure, sometimes a cave is just a cave, but only sometimes.

Widespread in America

Grand Forks Herald, May 8, 1910. The Edwardian era had its garden variety libertines and seducers, but Oom the Omnipotent was operating on an entirely separate plane. Though it was also a pretty crowded plane, according to this reportage. Read more.

Cross post

Two items of apocalyptic import in this week’s Chicago Reader, here and here.

With apologies to Oscar Hammerstein

Okay, so I’ve roughed out a provisional draft of alternate lyrics to “My Favorite Things” for our own Jackie of Finland to record, per our contractually-binding exchange in this comment thread. I’m also in negotiations to get the two surviving Seidlitz Brothers to dub some backing vocals, though according to their agent, Shlomo’s voice box is pretty much shot from three packs of Chesterfields a day since the McKinley administration. No matter: that’s why God made Pro Tools and the electrolarynx.

I’m kind of going back and forth on the first verse here, as it lacks the 100% concrete historicity that the other verses have. Though maybe I could fix that by nailing down concrete references to back it all up.

Barrel-clad hobos and window-ledge pastries
Irish patrolman and drunks with the DTs
Blackguards and maidens and oncoming trains
These are a few of my favorite thangs

Phials of acid in ex-lovers’ faces
Naked wild women in desolate places
Negroes with blue gums who kill when they bite
This is a load of my favorite shite

Mince pies for breakfast, and luncheon, and dinner
Corpses injected to make their eyes glimmer
Med school students defiling the dead
This sort of thing tends to fuck with my head

Cuckqueaned wives killing spinster cult leaders
Cats sold as rabbits to unwitting eaters
Show-offs igniting their cee-gars with bills
These are symptoms of society’s ills

When the dog brings
Dynamite back
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I feel truly bad

Jackie: Far be it from me to impinge on your creative process, but I was thinking this would work best Lento assai and in a minor key.

Mommy track

Savannah Tribune, November 9, 1922. Call me judgmental, but that is just plain bad parenting.

Cross post

I forgot to publicize this one over at the Reader.

Gentleman caller

Kansas City Times, May 18, 1889. I’m guessing this one never got to court.

More singular than revelatory

New York Tribune, January 18, 1857. Boy, they just don’t publish blind items like this anymore. The third paragraph seems to proceed from the premise that women cannot be impregnated in their sleep. But if Sis was asleep at the time of her incestuous ruination, how did her cries arouse her mother and other in-mates of the house? It’s a puzzler, no doubt.

“In an interesting condition”

Washington Post, February 16, 1880. “In an interesting condition” is yet another journalistic euphemism for “pregnant.”

The Vampire of Düsseldorf

Detroit News, April 22, 1931. Today, on a very special Hope Chest, a guest appearance by Peter Kürten, inspiration of the great Fritz Lang film M and the great Randy Newman song In Germany Before the War.