Chicago Tribune, March 22, 1921. Another response to the death toll exacted by so-called vampire autos. We will run some horrifying fatality stats soon.

Though I have to say, Chicagoans strike me even now as the shittiest, lamest, most bloody-minded drivers of the Western World, and I speak here as someone who has lived and driven in both Quebec and New Jersey.

Practically nobody in Chicago uses their fucking turn signals, and if and when you do signal a lane change, it merely stimulates the motherfucker in your side view mirror to pull up and block you out. Satellite-based vaporization of aggressive drivers would be a totally wholesome advance in policy.